Take it away and people learn to communicate properly, to really connect.’Atalanta, who lives in a pretty Sussex village with her 16-year-old son Alfred, initially intended the site to be a traditional matchmaking forum — but was pleasantly surprised to see it evolve into a platonic meeting place as well.‘Working life has changed.
Opinions ranged from, “why would I want to endure celibacy” to “it’s a way of manipulation” to “if, we’re not having sex then I’m no different to her ordinary friends” to (the worst of all) “ well if she isn’t giving me sex that’s fine, as long as she is fine with me getting my thrills elsewhere”.
I wasn’t particularly shocked by the sentiments as their opinions were not hugely removed from my reality, however it did reinforce a major concern of mine – what would become of the celibate black female looking to mate with a black male and then realising that there is a dearth of celibate black men?
Although the interest from these men is usually short-lived, (I tend to shatter the hopes of seeing me naked very early on in a conversation quite similar to this one him: “hey” me: “I’m a virgin who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage”) I still marvel at the over-representation of non –celibate black men in my life, which ultimately led me to write this article.
For the avoidance of any doubt, the reason for singling out black men is not malicious in any way.
When Suzanne Hartington, an attractive divorcee in her early 50s, placed her advert on an internet dating site, she knew exactly what she was looking for: someone roughly the same age to share her love of cooking and country walks.